Thursday, 16 February 2012


...not with Liam again, anyway. See, I found a battered, secondhand copy of that classic old boardgame 'RISK' in the charity shop around the next block. You know the one? Global conquest with fiddly little plastic pieces and a handful of dice. I remember playing it with my cousin and some friends when I was a kid. Great fun. So I figured the guys back in the archway might have a blast playing it. Good idea, right?


I never imagined things could get so testy. The problem was Liam totally got into it. I mean the complete evil-genius-overlord thing. He was completely horrible. Complete change of character. (Which if I recall is what kind of always happens when somebody gets control of all of North America early in the game; they get all George Bush on ya.)

What's worse, not only was he quite obnoxious, he also bullied and cajoled Bob and Becks into supporting him and constantly attacking me and Sal. I swear those two meat-dumbots are like his sidekicks, his personal lackeys, sometimes. I can't help suspecting that Bob thinks Liam is God-Almighty and Becks thinks he's God's Gift.


So that's how most of the game played out. Both support units being Liam's little pet monkeys and me and Sal fighting a pathetic rearguard action across Europe and Asia. Until, that is - when Liam took a toilet break - I convinced them both that Liam was finding the game unsatisfying and boring without any challenge left and might enjoy a sudden and unexpected reversal of fortune.

So when he came back they betrayed him thinking that he was loving it. (Invaded America from south America - what a glorious sight that was.)


Then he just had one mighty goddamn hissy-fit and - supposedly - knocked the board over onto the floor by 'accident'. (Yeah, right) I've got to say right up to that moment in time, I have never, NEVER, seen Liam lose his temper like that. So-o-o-o wound up. He was literally shaking with board-game rage!


He's gone off for a walk to cool down as I write this. Probably for the best since me and Sal have been high-fiving for the last half an hour.

And Bob and Becks? They don't understand what just happened. They look kinda lost. Like a pair of lost sheep.

Actually, I've changed my mind. We definately need to play Risk again.

nb: the picture at the top is my personal attempt at art. I'm no Picasso, but I think that's a pretty accurate rendition of Liam totally 'Orking-out' on us.